November 7, 2012

Serviceable Hot Caffeinated Beverage, Puppies, and Coffee Super Tanker Spills.

I forgot how to make coffee. It isn’t that hard but I still messed it up. 

There is something wrong with caffein deprived brains being required to make coffee. The result was a lame, watery but a serviceable hot caffeinated beverage. It just couldn’t honestly be called coffee. I thought it may work well enough to map out how to get the the FDA hearing I get to speak at tomorrow. 

I took the Puppy out for “business” and settled in to look over the email and fire up Google Maps. The affor mentioned puppy found something to chew that he shouldn’t.  I went to set the cup of serviceable hot caffeinated beverage on the desk and pry whatever he found this time out of his jaws. At least that was the plan, as much as you can plan before coffee. Now  when I say 'cup', I mean pre Bloomburg NYC Big Gulp Sized Coffee Super Tanker. 

Except I missed the desk. The hot (and it was seriously hot) serviceable beverage sloshed all over the desk, my keyboard, both legs and floor. BP would be proud of this spill. 

I got the paint brush from the dog. (Earlier he had a syringe - where did that come from? Oh wait kids with diabetes have been leaving diabetes stuff all over the house for years - Right.) Slopped up most of the mess with paper towels tossed them in the trash under the desk and went off to change into dry jeans. 

Changing I found the one of the dogs had left a present upstairs. Judging by the chewed test strip with it I assume it was related to the new technique for finding test strips on the floor, aka puppy.  I guess that explains why I spent so much time outside in the cold last night not getting puppy “business” done instead of listening to election analysts do "business" on TV.  

When I came back to the computer, I found the mutt happily chewing the paper towels drenched in spilled serviceable no longer hot caffeinated beverage under the desk. Great now do I have a caffeinated puppy? and doesn’t caffein work to loosen the “business” end of the digestive tract? So I guess I will be outside in the cold more this morning too.

If there is a moral here it is print the map to the FDA meeting out in the evening while you are waiting for the speeches late into election night morning. Also don’t attempt to work with heavy machinery like a pre Bloomburg NYC Big Gulp Sized coffee super tanker until you are fully up to speed from the serviceable hot caffeinated beverage. Which is a catch 22 if I ever heard one. Finally if the puppy isn't doing "Business" check the bedroom floors because he now understands stairs.  

I think I need a cup of coffee. 

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