August 1, 2009

D Summit - The Untrue Story Scene VI

Happy Cat Post

The face was a picture of knowing superiority, smug in is clam self confidence. The gray cat look regal too, eyes shut purring as it ears were gently scratched.

“Look at the fools, they think in a generation of Twittering Blackberries the only camera I have access to is the Hotel security?”

Tapping a few manicures fingers on the Blackberry get a quiet, “I see the prices on the NYMEX spot market are continuing to rise.” However these few key strokes meant a few less ear strokes and the cat is not happy. It slowly flicks it's tail in irritation at loosing the center of attention. “Yes, Yes, my Sausage. Don’t let cornering a commodities market interrupt your pressing schedule." Na as she reaches back to the cat she looks at her screen,"...but who is this Ms Siah?”

Somewhat shaken and stirred the Summiteers find themselves climbing into a black and silver shuttle bus. Chris is about to fire up the 455 when he notices M has slid into the driver seat.

“Oh no you don’t,” she says. “Do have any idea how high our insurance premiums have gone with you behind the wheel? Hell we are way passed the assigned risk pool.”

The van slowly moves through the mall parking lot and stops just on the other side of Nordstrom’s.

Chris thinks, ‘I would have been quicker to walk.’

They all roll out and into a fairly typical suburban mall free standing pad watering hole. The bloggers enter the grand hall and move to various gaming tables.

From Casino Royal (1954) to Quantum of Solace there have been 25 films in this series. We all know the canon.

So when the dude with the European accent says a few smooth words it is clear who is who. Chris reaches for the PPK. The assemble masses start collecting their pitchforks, torches and other angry mob supplies.

But there is a twist. Like a breath of new air in the room.

Who would think it? Bought off a by a free drink and some adequate if uninspiring catering the mob is swayed from the things they hold dear. With their Dexcom’s beeping warnings they abandon all they have ever know and felt about diabetes by a cute story about a 7th grade dance. Yeah I know I wouldn’t have believed it either but it says so on a bog on the internet so it must be true.

Dazed and confused they sheepishly file back out and into another bus for the long ride back across the parking lot. Chris, yet anothrer one of the Scott’s and BadShoe look up and see the businessman’s special hotel across the parking lot and decide to walk.

Chris seizes the opportunity to have a smoke. In earlier films this would happen in more significant scenes. These days he has a hard time feeding the habit that started as a device to make him look debonair in those earlier days. He has to walk in the rain with Stadler and Waldorf just to get his nicotine fix. As the Muppet curmudgeons argue about how to navigate 100 yards across the parking stalls, Chris notices his head clearing.

A gray commercial sausage purveyor’s delivery truck flies out of the loading dock of the restaurant. Thinking quickly Chris shove the two old farts one way and dives the other, narrowly saving all their lives. The back of the truck is open and Chris sees commercial compressed gas tanks.

“Odd sausages” 007 quips as he helps the feeble old men to their feet. Looking around he notices there is a compressed gas tank on the back of the van too. A sign proudly states the van is, “Going Green - A Natural Gas Vehicle!” Yet the line from the gray tank runs into the passenger compartment.

“What do you call that? They are trying to kill us!” says curmudgeon 1 shaking his frail old fist at the fleeing truck.

“An act of Mercy!” replies curmudgeon 2.

“N2O” say 007, “It’s a laugh.”

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