I've been out of circulation.
Turns out I’m fortunate; I had prostate cancer. It’s been a blessing.
Fortunate first because, I’m using the past tense - HAD. OK, it is still early, but all the information so far points to success. Score. I’m saying had.
From the first concerns to the diagnosis, and surgery, I had a lot of fun riding hundreds of miles on my bike. They had me in better condition than I have been in for a decade or more. Being in better shape helped. Rides were my meditation and were the space where I could get emotionally ready for the surgery.
I’m lucky it was detected while it was localized. What matters is I had, and still have a stunning level of support from family, friends and health care team.
I wince when people say they are sorry for what I have been through. While I greatly appreciate that sentiment, sorry isn't the lens I see my experience through.
I’m not at all sorry for it.
I am thrilled that, if cancer was in my life’s path, it was slow growing, highly treatable type.
I greatly appreciate that my family doctor of 30+ years connected me with a second opinion. That second opinion proved to be the star of my team. I benefited from the personal relationship between these two professionals. It is such that a phone call from my primary was all it took to get me a personal phone call and appointment from a surgeon whose staff said his calendar was booked for months. That took less than a day.
I could not work with better people. Family first isn't what they say; it is how they live. It was never about picking up the slack; it was always about being proactively supportive.
My family is wonderful. They showed that even when I didn’t. They supported my both contradictory fierce independence charting a path through the process and rants at the myriad of SNAFUs that come from the spectacularly non-systematic health process, incorrectly called the healthcare system. I am sure my vacillating between being noncommutative or a ranting loon was not fun.
I’m not sorry. I’m blessed.
I much more clearly see the many blessings who are the people in my life.
Love Ya Mean It