October 10, 2007

Bad things happen to good people.

I wrote this for another T1 dad who has had some issues with a church preschool. OK y’all may not recognize me as the author here but what the heck here goes:

Bad things happen to good people. It isn’t God’s will that they happen but part of God’s providence. There is a distinction there that is small but significant.

If bad things only happened to bad people we could easily know who’s evil from there rest. It would be like God showing up in a cloud and tossing about lightening bolts. There would be no question of who was in charge and we would be compelled to believe in that all powerful God.

Now think of God as a parent. Parents want their kids to do OK and to love them back. We all kind of get around to the idea that, the kids have to choose to be OK and love us back for themselves.

God being infinite is infinitely more loving and wise is more aware of this truth than we are. So God is infinitely more motivated to let us, his children, choose to love him by NOT forcing us to do so. In short God keeps us in freedom to choose to love God or reject God because that is how love works. (Every one sing the Sting song, “If you love someone, set them free…” OK enough of my sillieness.)

So what does this have to do with the topic at hand? Lots. First we get what we can handle or more precisely what we can handle with God’s help. We didn’t do anything bad, were not being punished, it is just our at bat, our lot, our thing. It is real hard to keep that in mind particularly, when those piling on the crap are wearing religious garb and projecting that they are all wise and speaking for god. Nope they are just human.

Second, we only get what we can handle, if we couldn’t, if it was going to break us for sure, we wouldn’t get it. That ain’t saying it is an easy load. It is saying we have an even shot. No more, no less, we are in freedom.

Third somehow there is a way to be better for all of it, we have to find the up side of the equation that is keeping us in freedom to come out OK. I am not so sure that I know what that is. If I figure it out I’ll let you know but it is there someplace. Our gig is to find it and do it.

I am coming to feel that there is a community here that may be more than it seems. We are here to help each other with the diabetes thing but the fact is the real issue is how the diabetes thing gets into our heads and hearts. That is more than helping with blousing tips.

It may be that we are here to really reach out and say, “That is wrong. I will stand by you to help you not over react but to act in accordance with what is right.” We can’t change the way Fishville or some church board act and think. We can support each other and in doing so help ourselves on a better path.

So let me say that I empathize with every emotion you are feeling, I know them first hand. The real spiritual issue is not to let what we experience as the shallow hollow self interest of others turn us into them.

Stand up for your child, her mom, her grandfather and her brother. You were put on this path because you can come out of it a better stronger man, father, husband and son. I probably can too. It may well be that you sharing your experience is a way to help me see that it is the same for me.

Thanks for the hand.

Stand tall stand and proud stand up for the children you are God’s chosen advocate for. Do so in away that makes us, them and God proud of you. You have done so so far. I have faith you can continue to do so.

In the long run - it is how we react that counts.

Other YDMV Posts on Spirituality


  1. Amen, Bennet. Beautifully written.

  2. well done, anything to inspire us to think more about God!

  3. Thank you for such a well written post!