August 12, 2009

When Pigs Can Fly

What would you wish for if you found Aladdin’s Magical Diabetes Lamp?

My three wishes are below but first it being Aladdin’s lamp, it comes with some rules, provisos as it were; no wishing for more wishes and no wishing for true love which in the type 1 universe is a cure. Oh and for fun and to stay with the general silliness of my guest post on SUM movie themes get bonus points.

(Full disclosure: This is a rerun of an April 08 YDMV post.)

So this my little list. I switched movie themes from Aladdin to Star Wars just for kicks.

1) Insurance coverage for continuous glucose monitoring, the pediatric edition. We are in the trials of basal rate change purgatory and right now it's closer to hell than the angelic alternative. Actionable information on real trends as opposed to spot checks and guessing when the numbers move seem more like a fantasy than a technological tool without insurance coverage. Yeah I know I’m asking for insurance companies to turn away from the Dark Side.

2) Faster insulin. Insulin that can jump to light speed without the need to get coordinates from the navi-computer. A real live pancreas uses the force respond to blood glucose as food is eaten. It would be cool if the insulin we give our kids could respond fast enough to cover what is actually eaten without pre-bolusing and pre-guessing what they may eat. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to bolus for what they ate after they ate it and not get a huge spike? Oh and no insulin floating around for hours in a long insulin on board tail.

3) Now the last one is tough, if it is just our household it would probably be sets that last more than 47 hours and 7 minutes. Or maybe management software that isn’t total crap. That said I have a type 1 parents community wide third wish. I wish that the world would be to see the NDEP’s Helping the Student with Diabetes Succeed A Guide for School Personnel as having the respect, acceptance and the force in the nation's schools as if it were a unanimous Supreme Court ruling (with a side order of Imperial Storm Troopers enforcing it.)

Parents keep trying to explain what good care looks like but are stuck to trying to rely on Jedi Mind Tricks with school officials. That isn’t getting it done. Countless families would have significantly less stressful lives if all school administrators could simply make an honest effort to implement the guidelines in Helping Students... . It is thorough, clear, and professional. In my opinion so are the schools that work toward implementation of it.

So much for my wishes: I asked our 10 year old what she would wish for. Here goes:

1) A Flying Pig.

It wasn’t clear if this was a real pig or a plush toy pig. I suspect plush. She has more plush than the gift shops at the exit of Disney rides. It was very clear that it had to fly. Not like Buzz Lightyear - falling with style was right out. Actual sustained controlled flight operations were required. It was unclear if Visual Flight Rules were acceptable or if Instrument Flight Rules would apply. Probably IFR. The flying Pig would be able to tell her if she was low or high. (and probably have an on board food carb database that has a workable user interface unlike the one in our pumps.)

2) A Flying Monkey could apply for the Flying Pig's job and it would not be dismissed out of hand. It would need to be more cool and less scary than a Wizard of Oz Flying Monkey. However a porcine aviator was much preferred. (Editors not: I suspect that the Pig would now have to be a Penguin – this was the list a year and a half ago. The hierarchy of plush toys has changed since this was originally written. Your Diabetes Three Wishes May Vary)

3) The pump should play Pong. This game playing ability should link with anyone else in the room that also has a pump. All T1 kids should be able to play Pong on their pumps anytime they get in range of each other. It wasn’t stated outright but I think it safe to assume that the Flying Pig/Monkey/Penguin should also be a possible Pong opponent if no other kid with a pump is around.

If it is not outside her realm of consciousness that a pig could fly and pumps play pong then I guess a cure isn’t either. She’s smart.

So what are your three wishes?

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