April 13, 2008

When Pigs Can Fly

What would I wish for if I found Aladdin’s Magic Diabetes Care Lamp?

It being Aladdin’s lamp it would come with some rules, provisos as it were; no wishing for more wishes and no wishing for true love, which in the type 1 universe, is a cure.

So this is the little list I came up with:

1) Insurance coverage for continuous glucose monitoring, the pediatric edition. We are in the trials of basal rate purgatory and right now it closer to hell than the angelic alternative. Actionable information on real trends as opposed to spot checks and guessing when the numbers move seem more like a fantasy than a technological tool without insurance coverage. Yeah I know I’m asking for insurance companies to turn away from the Dark Side.

2) Faster insulin. Insulin that can jump to light speed without the need to get coordinates from the navi-computer. A real live pancreas uses the force respond to blood glucose as food is eaten. It would be cool if the insulin we give our kids could respond fast enough to cover what is eaten without pre-bolusing. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to bolus for what they ate after they ate it and not get a huge spike? Oh and no insulin floating around for hours in a long insulin on board tail.

3) Now the last one is tough, if it is just our household it would probably be sets that last more than 49 hours and 7 minutes. Or maybe management software that isn’t total crap. That said I have community wide third wish. I think what would help all type 1 families most would be to see the NDEP’s Helping the Student with Diabetes Succeed A Guide for School Personnel have the respect and acceptance in the nation's schools as if it were a unanimous Supreme Court ruling (with a side order of Imperial Storm Troopers enforcing it.) We keep saying what good care looks like but relying on Jedi Mind Tricks isn’t getting it done. Countless families would have significantly less stressful lives if all school administrators could simply make an honest effort to implement the guidelines in Helping Students... . It is thorough, clear, and professional. In my opinion so are the schools that work toward implementation of it.

So what are your three wishes?

I asked our 10 year old what her’s would be. Here goes:

1) A Flying Pig. It wasn’t clear if this was a real pig or a plush toy pig. I suspect plush. It was very clear that it had to fly. Not like Buzz Lightyear. Falling with style was right out. Actual sustained controlled flight operations were required. It was unclear if visual flight rules were acceptable or if Instrument Flight Rules would apply. Probably IFR. The flying Pig would be able to tell her if she was low or high. (and probably have an on board food carb database that works unlike the one in our pumps.)

2) A Flying Monkey could apply for the Flying Pig's job and it would not be dismissed out of hand. However a porcine aviator was much preferred.

3) The pump should play Pong. This game playing ability should link with anyone else in the room that also has a pump. It wasn’t stated but I think it safe to assume that the Flying Pig should also be a possible pong opponent.

It is not outside her realm of consciousness that a pig could fly. I guess a cure isn’t either.

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