September 17, 2008

Parenting P Words That Aren't Punish.

I was reading an online conversation about punishing kids for sneaking food. Regular YDMV readers know I am not a fan of calling it sneaking or cheating. What I found particularly useful in one of the replies was a positive way to manage it. Here is what my friend Kristin had to say about punishing for sneaking;

We do not. But that is only our situation. I realize each child is different. At one point we used to make a joke. I told my son that if he was going to "sneak" food that he was to come to me and tell me he was sneaking food with a wink. Of course the agreement is that I can't say anything but ok and wink back and he would of course bolus himself! He did this once or twice and that was the end of it. He doesn't sneak any food. I also try not to limit food for d reasons. I will for health reasons but not for d. Like I said this just worked for us.

Here is what I find particularly helpful. First it is an ‘I’ statement as in I do this. Not you should do something but I do this. Next she is right up front with the idea that situations differ. Yeah YDMV! OK Y Parenting MV

Now comes the real brilliance - Joke about it. Wink and a nod support for breaking rules. Making it kind of fun to do what is the long term goal. Specifically know that it is OK and FUN to eat and bolus.

Kristin flips confrontation potential into a positive parenting practice pre positioning proper independent performance. That is 8 parenting P words that aren’t punish!