December 30, 2011

Nothing is Easy

Some of my T1D friends in the DOC (Diabetes Online Community) have said that they think it is more difficult to be the parent of a T1D child than to be diabetic. Maybe. I doubt it but I do think being a parent bring with it a different set of stresses.

As a parent our kid's lives are more dear to us than our own. I have yet to meet a parent who wouldn’t trade places and take the diabetes to free their kid of it if they could. That just the way parenting works. No news there.

I think one of the bigger stresses that parents face is in due course letting the diabetes be their kid’s. That in part means separating our worry about diabetes from our love of our kids and letting them get on with figuring out how to manage it, in their lives, as their diabetes.

A big part of this is trying, and we all will fail at this trying, to appreciate that nobody is a perfect diabetic and so when our kids diabetes varies our job is to not freak out or worse project judgment.

That ain’t as easy to do as it is to write. Here is one way to help, find other parents and commiserate. Vent your diabetes frustration with them not at your kids and when you do that venting no blaming the kids just vent your emotions.

Nothing about diabetes is easy. Not having it. Not being a parent. The truth is the medical professionals who teach diabetes care, teach us management techniques and processes. Few teach the emotional side of living with diabetes, that is tough on everyone. So find an outlet.

This is part of what what the Diabetes Online Community community is here for. It is part of why CDW or TuDiabetes are great online destinations. I hope it is part of why you read YDMV.

Consider Jonah’s comment on this post.

If you're going to ask about blood sugar readings and the kid's a teenager, be really careful about how you ask. From my parents, I'd probably hear that as a judgment part of the time, especially if it's a high or low that they ask about, and especially because they don't do my diabetes care.

Nothing is Easy.

4 comments:

Michael Hoskins said...

Excellent points, Bennet. You're right: nothing is easy and we all do our best. But having that place to share, to vent, to just communicate about all the unease of it all does so wonders... in making it easier. Maybe it's the sharing the burden part that gets easier as we share and communicate.

Anonymous said...

Once your child moves away from home and manages D on his/her own, I think the sleepless nights will continue. Only it will be worse because there is nothing you can do to care for your child. You have to trust in your child and fate. I do trust that she will take good care of her diabetes if she is able, if she is alert and awake. She already does everything that is required and is very responsible. But I worry that she will fall into too deep a sleep, suffer a low,and not wake up the next morning.For this reason I hope she does not live alone but has roommates and hopefully a caring spouse. That fear will not dissipate until a cure is found.

The Diabetic Camper said...

I agree so much with this. Being a teenager with diabetes was so hard . Everyone always asked what your numbers are and what are you eating. Mix in stress of school and you get diabetes depression. Communication is very hard with diabetes and you must never be negative to them. I always say, would you say that to someone with cancer. The response is always no but cancer is different than diabetes. Diabetics are probably the number one set of people that are bullied.

Michael Vetter - Type 1 Chronicle said...

As parent of a type 1 toddler (onset at 17 months), your post brings one of my favorite quotes to mind: "If things were simple, word would have gotten around." - Jacques Derrida